Yesterday was one of those hardest days when you are about to do something you have to think over a million times. A week ago, my cousin gave birth to a baby who died in the process. It was terribly sad… nine months of wait, baby clothes filling the house, a room awaiting the arrival of the baby to make it alive… but the baby ends up not coming…!!
I was touched of course and had to go pay my condolence to my cousin, immediately. However, I kept postponing that and my mother kept reminding me of the duty that needs to be accomplished. She probably had my aunt asking her about me many times… I kept delaying this, making lame excuses- sometimes I had some late work to deliver, other times I was feeling terrible because of the cold I just caught.
OK! A week passed. All my excuses made sense no more. AND I HAD TO GO! Alright, I need to practice then. The first problem is the SMILE. I know everybody keeps insisting on how a smile can work miracles, how it makes one positive, etc… but I never heard anyone talking about how much trouble a smile can cause, or at least what it will cost me in a moment. I smile most of the time to the extent that when I spent two days in the hospital back in the states, everyone called my “the smiley face!”
My problem was serious. I should not be smiling. I have to wear a serious expression, showing my genuine saddness for the unfortunate happening. OK! I would strive to do that. Then, the second problem was that I didn’t really recall what expressions are used in such occasions. I endeavoured to remember some words, or sentences… I finally recalled one or two of them… Then, it was five o’clock and we had to go…
Knocking on my aunt’s door, I revised all the sentences one of which escaped me. My aunt opened the door, I inquired after her health and that of her daughter and said one of those sentences I had to practice. Then, there was my cousin whom I greeted; I strived to recall the expressions, but they all betrayed me, I couldn’t recall anything!! Not a single word!!! In a moment in which I would normally smile, I suppressed my smile, and my cousin looked at me with a smile larger than mine would have been. Five minutes later, we were throwing jokes, laughing at the stupid Turkish soap movie that is dubbed in Arabic, and above all joking about how my cousin said some really lame things in responce to the expressions people kept saying to her while paying their condolence!! And that was enough to save my day!